Negotiation and the “combined experience” fallacy.
“Combined experience” isn’t mastery. Together, 40 infants have 40 years of aggregated experience-- at being one year old. It’s wondrous. Let’s celebrate it, but let’s not confuse it with prowess.
WANT BETTER NEGOTIATION RESULTS? SHOW YOU MEAN IT.
Credible negotiators mediate better. What’s indispensable, and makes us credible? Our experience. We trust it. We’ve worked extremely hard and sacrificed for it.
If we wear our experience comfortably, our opponent respects it. It’s synonymous with our temperament, our seasoning and our concientous judgment. In turn, each buttresses our bargaining position. Contrarily, combined experience is an “experience imitator”. It confounds. It’s flimsy. It does not fortify us. We can put it on, but it’s not our suit of clothes. We can put it on, but it does not inform our temperament, battle scar us, or teach us prudence. Our unique experience is combined experience’s antithesis; it is concrete, custom-tailored, and notable, and to our opponents; believable.
WE CAN SHOW WE MEAN IT WITH SOFT POWER.
International diplomats call know-how, plus implicit ammunition, “soft power”. On the world stage, soft power isn’t weakness, it’s the indispensable lubricant for conflicted nation states to coexist, achieve their ambitions, and avert shooting wars.
In soft power negotiation, our opponent does not have to like us, they have to contend with us. In back-and-forth bargaining, manifesting we mean it is impactful. Just, saying so? Not so much. When put-up-or-shut-up-time comes, we can credibly promise we are going the distance, if our opponent knows we have gone there before.
BE THAT DOG. NOT THE BREED.
In contested litigation, it’s not enough that we belong to a breed that bites. There’s no imminent threat; no, “soft power”, in that. To be credible, and a formidable bargainer, we must be that dog that does. Remember our soft power formula: Soft power = ability + implicit ammunition.
THE SUCCESS RECIPE
First, last, and always, mediation is negotiation. Our winning mediation strategy recipe is two parts case facts and controlling law, and one part biography. We bargain better, and our opponent heeds us, when we know who we are.
In transactional negotiation, real bargaining isn’t posturing, it’s the other side believing, deep down in its bones, we are walking away if we can’t come to terms.
If we are mediating, and litigating, the same holds true. But how does our litigation opponent know, deep down in their bones, we are forging ahead to trial if we cannot come to terms?
Potent negotiators often get results that come near “going the distance” when the other side knows they have gone there before. It helps if our biography espouses cases we’ve tried. Wins versus losses and case names don’t matter that much. It’s our “at bats” that do.
What if we have motion argument, and deposition experience, but we are still early in our litigation career and we can’t count our trials on one hand, yet? Remember, the other side pays more attention to biting dogs in the room with it, than biting breeds it’s acquainted with. We are credible if our opponents know we like to win our arguments in court. We believe what we’re saying. Our opponents should too.
Our trial resume can be short. Regardless, we do better in negotiations when the facts and law help us, and our opponent knows we have the mettle to fight. When we wear our experience comfortably, our opponent respects it. Motion arguments and depositions help paint that invaluable picture. There’s soft power in there.
It’s a credibility waster to invoke experience that’s not ours. That’s “belonging to the breed”, not being the dog, and it’s confusing the way “40 infants have 40 years of aggregated experience” is confusing. Experience-by-association, or being “experience adjacent” is touchy soft power ammunition, and it can sabotage us because it is adulterated. Our hard-earned experience is true ammunition. Be authentic. Authenticity’s is dependable power we can spend to help our cause.
Soft power negotiation isn’t weakness, it’s how conflicted plaintiffs and defendants contend with one another and achieve their goals while avoiding a risky trial verdict. We serve our clients better, and we achieve better outcomes for them, when we show our opponent we are summoning our unique earned experience; our, muscular soft power ammunition, to bargain better.
3Chairs CAN HELP YOU
We look forward to answering your questions and helping you with your full or half-day mediation. Contact us:
3Chairs Mediation Group, Inc.
(855) 3Chairs | (855) 324-2477